Today’s assignment: Pick your favorite of all the tasks we’ve done so far, and revisit it. How can you continue to grow?
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from the person you’re the closest to?
For reasons that should be obvious, my best friend is my husband, known throughout the internet as jaklumen. Jak and I recently celebrated fifteen years of marriage, but we started out as friends.
You guys, I’m going to be a wreck after I’m done with this posting. So, as with the roundup post, there’ll be no featured blog today. I’ll pick it up again tomorrow.
The very first thing I learned from jak is that true love can be really unexpected if you don’t know what you’re looking for. Jak and I first met at a church function and his first impression of me was that I was desperate, which, looking back, I probably was. The next time we met, he was the desperate one. Not desperate for love, like I was. He was just desperate for a listening ear. He’d moonlighted as Santa that year and fallen in love with one of his elves. Without telling you too much that’s not mine to tell, let’s just say things didn’t work out. Five months later we were dating. By the end of the year, we were married and living in married student housing just off campus of the college town where we lived. I’ll give you the full story later. For now, suffice it to say that the fact that I was in love with him came as something of a surprise to me.
Second, jak taught me that life is pain, getting through it each day is all in how you handle it. Jak’s entire life has been nothing but pain. Painful psychological experiences, such as dealing with bipolar disorder. Painful emotional experiences, like the situation between his mother and his grandmother, and, more recently, painful physical experiences, like near constant back pain and tonic spasms. I’ve noticed that, no matter how much he complains about it all or how sensitive he is about certain things, he never stops moving forward, learning or caring. It’s not easy to be in pain all the time, but to be in pain all the time and continue working for, loving and helping your family is, in my opinion, superhuman.
Third, jak taught me that the very best thing you can do for yourself is to marry your best friend. True friendship is so hard to find these days. In my own experience, true friendship comes when someone knows everything there is to know about you and likes you anyway. Jak’s not just my friend, he’s my hero. He’s always there for me when I need him the most. Even considering how much we’ve fought in fifteen years, he’s never left my side and I’ve never felt safer than when I’m in his arms. He’s my true knight, the one person who seems to understand that some dragons should be slain and some should be befriended. He encourages all my best traits. Who could ask for more, really?
Lastly, but not by any means least, jak has taught me that I am beautiful. Do you know, as a result of everything I’ve been through, I never used to believe that. Now, I see myself through jak’s eyes and see a truly beautiful woman, someone who deserves good things, who deserves to be loved, who deserves to be happy. Jak showed me that. He is generous to a fault. He’s kind and he’s thoughtful. He even gets a big kick out of hearing my reaction when he surprises me with flowers.
I love you, jaklumen. I’m so happy that you’re my friend and that you’re my husband. Here’s to another fifteen years and many, many more lessons learned together.