I have a couple of questions. First, why are humans so easily bored? My first princess, who has been with me for less than a day, complains incessantly about boredom almost every hour since I acquired her. Can you help me understand? Secondly, why are some humans such jerks. For example, earlier a knight came and tried to force my princess to allow him to rescue her. I ate him, of course, but the precedent bothers me.
A Curious Dragon
Dear Curious Dragon,
Allow me to compliment you on the acquisition of your first princess. That’s quite an accomplishment for a young dragon.
First of all, in my experience, the human capacity for boredom increases with the level of their intelligence. You will note that the Princess Cimorene of Linderwall, princess to the celebrated King Kazul*, was highly intelligent. In fact, she was intelligent enough to understand the benefits of service to a dragon. She kept herself constantly busy doing such necessary activities as tidying her dragon’s cave, sorting treasure, dusting the library and, of course, cooking desserts such as chocolate mousse and cherries jubilee. When she wasn’t doing these things, she was learning spells, improving her Latin and spending time with the princesses in service to neighboring dragons. As you see, Cimorene was a busy young lady and such a benefit to Kazul that she retained her services even after she ascended the throne and willingly parted with her when she saw the girl’s talents needed a further challenge. In this way, humans are a good deal like dragons. To escape boredom, many dragons such as yourself kidnap royalty, either, for the quality of their conversation or to provide entertainment when adventurers of one stripe or another arrive to attempt to rescue said royalty. There is every possibility that your princess may not be as intelligent as Princess Cimorene. However, given your statement about “acquiring” her, it’s possible that this isn’t really the case. If you’ll accept my advice, assuming you haven’t done so already, you should provide your princess with some task that sparks her interest. As Princess Cimorene once said, “…if most princesses are unwilling, it must be fairly usual for them to try to get away.” I’m willing to bet, based on your second question that the princess you mentioned will be pleased that you took her interests into account.
In answer to your second question, I’m pleased to note that not all humans are so irritatingly rude and I’m certain that the world isn’t worse off for your eating him. I can’t speak for all humans, not being one myself. As for this one, however, you will remember that, quite often, captured princesses are ransomed by their fathers with half of their kingdoms. This, of course, leaves things open to abuse, particularly if the knight in question is unscrupulous, as it appears your intruder was. I’m given to understand that some humans actually believe that they shouldn’t have to work to obtain the “good things of life” and, as such, are willing to stoop quite low to avoid having to do so. If you can convince your princess that she is better off with you, I imagine that she may be able to put a stop to this kind of thing herself. Then you won’t have to spend so much on dragon dentistry from chipping teeth on the invading knight’s armor.
Good luck to you,