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Before I begin, I want  you to know that this post is sensitive enough that I will, more than likely, put it under password protection after about a month or so.

Those of you that read this blog may or may not know that I like to write.  I don’t just like it, I adore it.  It’s almost as necessary for me as breathing.  I cherish a long-held dream that, one day, I will write a book and have it published.  I have already written two stories that qualify as “short,” as they are around ten pages in length (for those of you that are interested, they are “The Magician” and “The Dragon”).  However, I have real difficulty believing that any of my work will ever be good enough to be published anywhere other than my story blog (“Cimmy’s Stories”).  As such, I haven’t come close to writing a book-length story, though I have had many false starts.  I’ve been told any number of times by my husband, that others would love to hear me read my own work aloud.  He doesn’t lie to me so I’m sure that he’s telling the truth.  It’s just that I prefer hearing other people read my work because it gives me an opportunity to pull away a little and give it a more critical look than I might otherwise give it.  My husband says that this sounds like I have no confidence in my own writing ability.  That’s probably the case.  I considered submitting the two “Short” stories I’ve written to magazines.  However, I keep hearing a voice in my head say, “you don’t have what it takes to be a published writer,” and “If they rejected your work, it would kill you,” and lots of other really uplifting thoughts.  I never seem to hear these voices say, “This is good! You should submit it to a magazine and see if they agree to publish it.”

Anyway, I don’t know why, but I’m loathe to discuss it with my therapist, who is a lovely woman and very understanding.  I guess I just don’t think it would fit in with what I’m currently trying to do.  Then again there’s also the fact that I’m a full-time wife and mother, so it sometimes feels like writing time is stolen from the time my family needs me; like writing is a guilty pleasure rather than a hobby or even a legitimate profession.

I hope I haven’t made anyone feel badly while reading all of this.  I don’t normally like posting my feelings on the internet.  So, if I’ve bummed you out with all of this jabber, I’m sincerely sorry.

UPDATE:  After seriously considering what everyone had to say (see the comments) I did some searching and found a magazine that I think will probably suit my needs nicely.  I have pulled “The Magician” from my writing blog and will probably do the same with “The Dragon,” later.  With some help, I’ve written a cover letter and am preparing to submit both story and letter to the magazine’s editor-in-chief.  This may not happen until later this afternoon, however, since I’ve promised my husband that I wouldn’t spend too much time on the computer neglecting my responsibilities while I write and format.   Anyway, my thanks to you all and I’ll let you know if when “The Magician” gets published.

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