Grampa Fred always said that a day in which you learned something new was a day not entirely wasted. I just wish it didn’t take me so long to learn the more important things. I’m a positive sink of useless information, but it seems to take me forever to learn the things that really matter.
I recently learned something that’s taken me quite a while to get. I realize, as an individual, I have every right to my emotions. I can get angry, offended or even hurt if I want to. They’re part of who I am. However, as a member of a group (work, society, family), especially as one of the leaders of that group (boss, politician, parent), extreme negative emotionalism becomes something of a privilege, one that I have no real claim to. As a mother, I need to take care of myself so that I can function properly, but I don’t have any right to get upset or angry if things don’t go my way. My family looks to me for stability. If my behavior is unstable, my family will be unstable as well.
You can say what you like about this. I don’t doubt that many of you will say that other members of my family also need to be more stable. You may or may not be right. There’s one problem with saying something like that: I can only control me. If I start telling various other members of my family that kind of thing, I’m likely to meet the same kind of resistance that I’d give if someone said that to me.
Basically, I have to change how I handle things here. I can’t change them. I can only change me. That’s one I learned long ago. Now the difficulty comes in making the change.