Hello, Everybody. Welcome to the News.
In our top story for today, mother and amateur writer, Cimmorene was recently injured by her son. The family had just received company and the three-year-old was jumping on the sofa when she decided to change his wet pull-ups. After managing to get his wet pants off, she proceded to try and put some dry pants onto him. The boy, still bouncing on the sofa, hit the bridge of her nose with the top of his head. Cimmorene, surprised and in considerable pain, immediately began to cry. However, apart from a slight bloody nose and peculiar sinus problems on the part of Cimmorene, neither she nor her son are seriously injured. Of course, the boy was severely reprimanded for jumping on the sofa and for hurting his mommy.
Today, Cimmorene is pleased to announce that, for the second week in a row, she is, once again, on top of her housework. Battling old habits which she learned as coping mechanisms for depression, Cimmorene is now learning to stand up and do something active on a periodic basis. As a result, her work is actually getting finished, much to the evident pleasure of her husband and children. Says Cimmorene, "My only hope is that I can finally get on top of the dishes and the laundry, as both of those tedious chores have to be done pretty regularly." We wish her God speed on her endeavors.
The weather here is Fair and Windy with temperatures in the low seventies. Following storms for the past couple of days, we're relieved to report that the chance of precipitation has dropped to a mere 10%. Wind is coming from the South-West at about twenty-eight miles an hour. Humidity is at 41%, which, according to what I've been told, is prime bubble blowing weather. So get out your bubble soap and wands everybody and lets fill the air with the fairy film of soap bubbles. Temperatures tonight are expected to be in the low forties.
In sports today, we're pleased to tell you that due to todays windy conditions, amateur kite-flyer, jaklumen was able to get some air time today. Unfortunately, at one point, wind gusts were so strong that both his lines were actually snapped. Jaklumen has, however, retrieved the kite and is making repairs to the damaged lines. Jaklumen assures us, confidently, that such a setback will not stop him from making another attempt at a later date as kite flying is a source of general relaxation for him.
Well, folks, that's all the news from this corner of the world. We'll keep you posted as things develop.