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"Write a want ad that describes your father."

WANTED:  1 Father.  Requirements:  Scientific experience, teacher, firm, respectful of mom and willing to make sure the kids respect her, too.  Sense of humor a must.  Writing, Dungeons & Dragons, computer, and naval experience preferred.  Physical requirements:  Must be tall, able to lift a ten-year-old child without help and able to smile often.  Applicants must have some kind of hobby, such as wood carving, electronics or model building.  Patience an absolute requirement as certain damaged goods will be handled.  Expect to deal with 2 girls and 3 boys of varying ages and temperments.  Salary minimal.  Long term benefits excellent.  Position permanent.  Apply at church.