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Well, I know it's been a while since I've written.  I've been trying to get my life and my house back in order.  I'm trying to get to the point where the housework only takes a few minutes and I don't spend all my life on the computer or in doing the laundry or the dishes, both of which, in my case, have a disturbing tendency to build up because I tend to ignore them until they absolutely need to be done.  It's a habit I've had since I was a teenager.  Back when I was content to live in a garbage dump, which is what my room looked like and read and read and read all day long.

But I'm an adult now and I know I need to think like one.  Especially if I want my children to understand that these things are a necessary part of life.  Some several have once said that children learn best about what's important by watching their parents and I admit that, up 'til recently or even up 'til now I haven't been the best of examples.  Of course there's the old adage that says "nobody's perfect" but I don't think I should let that become any kind of excuse to slack off and quit trying to be, at the very least, the best I can be.  After all, this is my dream.  I'm living my dream at this very moment.

You know how, when you're a kid, people always ask you what you want to be when you grow up.  My answer was "a mother."  So here I am, and I'm a mom and it's not all cake and ice cream.  Some of it is really hard.  In fact, there are days when I want to just walk out the door and not come back for a while.  I can't imagine just leaving and never coming back.  It's not in me and not because it's irresponsible (which it is) and not because I have a duty to my family (which I do) and not even because I made some important promises when I married my husband (which I did) but mainly because I love my family and I can't imagine life without them.  I once heard about this one woman who did leave left her husband and kids without so much as writing them a note to say "good bye forever."  I mean really.  She just took off.  I can't imagine ever doing that.  It doesn't make any sense to me at all.  I mean why go through all the trouble of getting married and having kids only to ditch them and go off somewhere without telling anyone where you're going or when you plan to be back?  What's the point?  I just don't get that.

Anyway, now that I'm a mom and living my dream I know that, somehow, I just really need to find a way to make it work for me and be fun for me.  I need to remember every day that I really am living my dream and that my greatest treasure really is my family and I need to find a way to invest in that.

Well, thanks for listening.  Maybe I'll write again tomorrow. 

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